Trust: the movie

On Sunday night I watched the movie Trust (starring Clive Owen and Catherine Keener), which is about how a teenage girl gets scammed by a pervert online. I won’t give away all the plot details, but suffice it to say that it is a powerful and sad commentary on the underbelly of the online world, the power of the Internet; teenage angst and desire for acceptance; and parental disconnection.

Weirdly, this movie set the stage for an incident that happened yesterday that has made me think hard about the nature of trust and the online world.

Photo by Libby Levi for OpenSource.com via Flickr

Trust online

The nature of online interactions makes it hard to know who you are dealing with. As in the movie Trust, a person can provide  a fake name, or picture or any other details. Unless we know otherwise, we are forced to trust the person is who she or he says she/he is.  This is why some of us limit who we are friends with on Facebook or connect with on LinkedIn. Twitter is a bit trickier.

Trust can be gained and lost

This blog and website was built by a virtual assistant/small business web developer whom I found online. I found her through Twitter when I was looking for some VA assistance. Since she had Web and WordPress skills, she fixed a couple of issues on my old website, and then built this website. Along the way, I referred a couple of people to her. But. She was a bit hard to get a hold of. She would disappear for days on end and not respond to emails or calls. Getting the project done was painful and slow. However, I was pleased with the end result.

This person also sold me web hosting on HostGator, as she was a reseller. I paid her upfront for a year of hosting. She assured me that I could deal with HostGator directly if I had any issues. Except when I did have an issue, it turned out she wasn’t telling the truth. Yesterday,  I found I had no email access and my website was down with a page that said “account suspended.” I called HostGator immediately, and to make a long story short, I was told that the account holder–the virtual assistant–had not paid her account and that in order to make changes to the account she would have to contact HostGator. Well, I told you she was hard to get a hold of. I called both numbers I had for her (one was disconnected and the other one went to a voice mail that was not accepting messages). I sent email, and I tweeted her repeatedly. She was not to be found.

In the end, I was forced set up and pay for a new hosting account, and because I had a password, was able to get HostGator to transfer the files. It was stressful. HostGator has all sorts of rules about reseller accounts about which I had no clue. I was told that my website/email could be down for as long as 48 hours. In the end, it was only a couple of hours.

I learned a lesson the hard way. You can’t and shouldn’t trust anybody you don’t know personally (and even then) completely. In this case, I should have retained control of my web hosting.

To quote Ronald Reagan, “trust but verify”

There is only so much you can do…some people will try to scam you even if you check out references etc. But before you put money on the table, you must do your due diligence and try to verify a person’s credentials. Also, check in with your gut. Your gut always seems to know.

Trust and marketing

As a marketer, part of your job is to make sure potential customers and clients can and do trust you. Without trust, there can be no business relationship. This is why we include actual addresses, names and phone numbers in our collateral material (including and especially websites). This is why we have customer/client testimonials and provide references.  And this is why third party sites like Yelp and Angie’s List are doing so well.

Trust is integral to marketing a business. Without it, you are toast.

Once trust is broken, you are done. I will never do business with the VA business again. And neither will anyone I know. Because of social media, my voice is amplified. She must not truly understand this because 24 hours later, I still haven’t heard a word. Radio silence in an online world.

Twitter trolls and raconteurs

If you follow me on Twitter you know that I often share articles and insights regarding communications, marketing, PR and social media. You will also see a lot of political commentary. I know that having a political point of view can be a turn-off to some potential clients, but I have chosen to use my social media to share what is important to me.

Yesterday, I tweeted about how the GOP is working to deny access to contraceptives. Promptly, a pro-Mitt Romney supporter (don’t know name or gender or location) tweeted back that contraception is not health care. I pointed out to him or her that getting pregnant can lead to health complications for certain people so contraception certainly can be health care. He or she said there are many “natural” ways to prevent conception. It kept going until the troll was silenced with something he or she had no answer for…why insurance should cover Viagra.

After this exchange, I was left wondering once again why people on Twitter seek out those who they disagree with and start sparring with them. I don’t.  I am not there to fight with those that don’t see the world like I do…and I certainly don’t seek battles out. If I disagree with someone I follow/follows me, that’s a different story. I didn’t go out looking for a fight.

Social media can connect you to people all over. In my mind, I would rather find those people I connect with rather than those I disagree with. I would rather find friends than enemies.

Photo from Loriane DiSabato via Flickr.

Facebook “friends”

Facebook friends  are people you have met at some time in your life, and with whom you share a Facebook “connection.” Sadly, it is not a real connection but rather an artificial one. There are those friends who never use the site at all. Are you connected if you never hear from one another? And then there are those that share every minute detail of every day. They aren’t connecting–they are spamming everyone they have met with everything on their minds.  And then there are those who only feel comfortable connecting over Facebook. These people are incapable of picking up the phone or sending a non-Facebook email. Instead, they “connect” with you by liking your post or wishing you a happy birthday on your wall.

On his blog, the 8 pm Warrior, Aaron Briebert said in the post “Warning: Social Media is Killing Real Communication (and Relationships)”  that social media is a form of deferred communication, and one that is

tearing apart traditional relationships.  Especially among young people. As we get overwhelmed by deferred communication, stuff is missed.  Divisions are formed.

Mashable recently published this post: “Is Social Media Actually Making Us Less Connected?”, in which Professor Sherry Turkle from MIT says that technology is impacting the quality of our relationships. 

One major issue, she [Turkle] said, is that when we text, email or post to a social networking site, we’re able to project ourselves as we want to be seen. “We get to edit, we get to delete, and that means we get to retouch.”

Inversely, Turkle notes that a face-to-face conversation “takes place in real time and you can’t control what you’re going to say.”

Further, with our phones at our constant disposal, Turkle says we’re only paying attention to the things we want to pay attention to. And that leaves us increasingly disconnected from our friends, family and co-workers as we simply turn to our devices when a conversation no longer interests us.

Social media is not helping anybody develop social skills, in fact, it seems to be killing social skills. If we have a disagreement with someone, instead of having a difficult conversation, we are unfollowing or unfriending. If we don’t care for someone, we just hide their posts or block them.  And there are those who expect that you will learn about major life events (engagements, break-ups, promotions, babies) from their Facebook status.

The fact is real relationships take effort. Facebooking and Tweeting can be done in a few minutes a day.  It’s quite easy to post a happy birthday message on someone’s wall. But to call the person, send him or her a card, or see him or her in person takes time and effort.

Do you think social media is really social?

Homonyms: words that sound and/or are spelled the same but have different things

As I was reading the Washington Post this morning, on the front page was an article about a rapist recently sentenced to three life terms.  In the article, the reporter said that the rapist “reined terror on Montgomery three decades ago…” Of course, the correct word in this context is reigned. Reined (restrained)  and reigned (exercised power over) sound the same–they are homonyms–but have completely unrelated meanings. Yesterday, I was reading a blog post with a headline that said “too much to bare.” The author really meant to say “too much to bear.” 

Granted, these mistakes are easy to make because the words are not spelled incorrectly (so spell check would  not help) and they sound the same to your ear (so reading aloud would not catch it). Sadly, misusing homonyms is a common mistake.  Here’s a list of the most common: http://wsuonline.weber.edu/wrh/words.htm

These types of mistakes are  precisely why we need editors.

How you say it matters

Using the correct words is important. But how you say what you are saying also matters. If you are asking me to do something for you, being pleasant and appreciative makes me want to help you. If on the other hand you write me asking me for something you need (like an email I received a few weeks ago) that says that this thing is needed right away, and you don’t say please, thank you or that you would appreciate my help, then, I am not inclined to help you.

Being polite and considerate of whoever is receiving your business communication will result in better compliance. That’s a fact.  Being rude, inconsiderate or demanding, on the other hand, will result in resistance.

Today has been one of those days, where there are tons of great articles, interesting observations and news, so here’s a round-up.

New timeline on Facebook

In case you missed it, Facebook is forcing its new timeline on all brand/organizational pages by March 30th. You have a month to prepare, and here is a fantastic how-to from HubSpot:

The Complete Guide to Setting Up the New Facebook Page Design

Print advertising in major decline

It is no secret that print media are suffering, not only from the fact that most people seem to prefer to access information online, but by a decline in print advertising. The Atlantic has a graph that shows the precipitous decline over the past 60 years, most of it in the past decade. Sad news for print outlets.

Power-crazed bosses

A few weeks ago I wrote here on the blog about how ego can get in the way of effective communication. In case you want to explore this issue more, Fast Company published an article about how power can poison bosses–to the point they lose all self-awareness and empathy. Believe me, power-crazed bosses are not going to get why their communications efforts aren’t working. It must be your ineptitude or stupidity–not their inability to view things rationally.

Did you catch my blog post last week on what I consider a rebranding #fail for Piratz Tavern? Robert Freeland did, and he shared his thoughts with me (and I thought I would share them with you, with his permission of course)

Hi Deborah,

I agree with your prediction that the Corporate Bar and Grill angle Spike TV’s “Bar Rescue” guru, Jon Taffer, thinks will save the sputtering Piratz Tavern will die its own death. The first article I read about the makeover had Taffer proclaiming the need for an “executive burger” joint in Silver Spring…whatever an executive burger is.

 

I’ve had plenty of enjoyable times and grogs at PT, and will miss its one-of-a-kind shtick. The thing that displaced it attempts to strongarm pretention into a dive…an antithetical marriage, like matter and antimatter…Boom! I think Taffer missed the one about understanding a region’s audience before dictating what they need.

 

I walked past CB&G this evening, after leaving a very-packed Quarry House across the street (where the burgers are great). It was open but dead, consistent with your forecast. Ground beef and low inventory rotation don’t get along well.

Best,

Robert Freeland

We’ll keep tabs on the new place, but unless “executives” develop a taste for these burgers, AND flock there religiously every lunch, I doubt the new place will survive. These days, competition is stiff for any dollars.  How do you stand out from a crowd? In this case, the shtick was the attraction. Substituting a generic experience in a place with little foot traffic is a sure-fire way to lose business.

Katie Aberbach at expressnightout.com seems to agree in her post Walked the Plank. What do you think will happen?

Have you ever been to a job interview where you are not encouraged to ask questions? Have you been offered a job where you don’t ask about benefits, salary or vacation/sick day policy? I would bet that if you went to a job interview and you did not meet who you would be working for, and where, and if the interviewer did not tell you a bit about the hiring organization, you would be a bit hesitant about it being a good fit for you.

Some organizations seem to believe that if they are deigning to hire someone–be it an employee or a consultant or an agency or any type of service–they don’t need to market themselves. Potential hires should just be excited that someone is offering to consider them or their services.

Companies that care about providing a good work environment are proud to let the world know about it. They even use it as a differentiator. You have probably seen organizations that tout that they were selected as a top employer for working moms, or most socially responsible organization and so forth.

There are many organizations out there, and if you are in marketing, you must differentiate yourself from everyone else. Even if you are “just hiring.”

Yesterday, I got the following email (identity is concealed):

Subject: What type of work do you do?

Body: Just starting the process to see if we want to bring in a firm as a consultant on several projects. What type of work does your firm do? Who/what are your clients?

[name]

Marketing Manager
[COMPANY NAME]
[phone/fax/email/address]

This marketing manager is not managing to market herself at all. What does her company do? What types of projects is she interested in? Why would I want to answer her? (Not to mention that you can find answers to all these questions right here on my website.)

Marketing is about making an impression. Even if you are doing the hiring does not mean you don’t have to impress your potential hiree about what a good/special/professional company you are. Perhaps you are known for paying well, or paying on time, or being responsive, or having employees that have been there for decades. Whatever it is, it is what makes your organization special and different from other organizations.

Last night, I watched part of the Academy Awards (or Oscars to most everyone on the planet). I did not watch it all. And what I did watch, I didn’t enjoy.

It seems quite ironic that the night meant to celebrating the best in film ENTERTAINMENT, is so un-entertaining.  The jokes were not funny, the audio was off (some weird feedback on the microphones), the show was too long. Some speakers were cut off, and Billy Crystal, the host, seemed caught in some time warp.

Perhaps it is because Hollywood is out of touch (seriously, how many people in this economy could even afford a designer gown?). Or perhaps it is because the Academy is completely not representative of the population (it is mostly male, mostly white, mostly old, as the LA Times reported).

With each passing year it seems that the red carpet pre-show, where the attendees show off what they are wearing, becomes what more people want to watch than the actual awards.

So, did YOU watch the Oscars? If so, what did you think?

Yesterday, as I was reading The Washington Post, I came across this item, regarding a makeover for a Silver Spring, MD bar.

The bar, formerly known as Piratz Tavern, was targeted by Spike TV to be redone.  Apparently, the bar’s sales had been slumping and the owners appealed to the “Bar Rescue” show.  Piratz had a pirate theme–the waitstaff dressed up as pirates, there was rum, and “pirate-themed” food. The decor was pirate-casual (you know, skulls on the wall-like).

In comes the Bar Rescue staff and Piratz Tavern becomes, are you ready for this? Corporate Bar and Grill, serving gourmet burgers to executives not interested in being pretend pirates.

Corporate Bar and Grill? Seriously? Could they have chosen a more generic name? A more generic menu? I am not a betting person, but I  would bet that this won’t result in higher earnings, except if they are charging much more for these executive burgers.

Perhaps what Piratz needed was not a complete rebranding to become a generic grill, but instead, an effective way to market a quirky spot that is a bit out of the way for foot traffic. If foot traffic was the issue before, it will still be an issue now, regardless of whether the food is better.

If you have something different, I think you should exploit it. Becoming just like everyone else is rarely a way to get ahead of the crowd. Becoming more generic is this week’s communications #fail.

ATT sent me a “special customer offer.” The letter giving me notification of this “special offer” starts like this:

Dear Deborah Brody,

You’ve been such a great customer, you deserve something special from us.

That’s why I’m offering you a FREE Android Smartphone when you activate an additional line of service with a new two-year voice agreement with qualifying monthly data plan required per phone.

To recap, ATT will show its appreciation for my business by giving me a “free” phone, which will require me to subscribe to more services and pay more per month and only if I activate a second line.

Basically, they are offering me nothing.

The thing is, I don’t need a second line of service.

I have gotten this same offer over and over and over again. Never once have I gotten an offer for a phone upgrade without ATT requiring a second line activation.

This offer is all about ATT and not at all about me. It is not even remotely tailored to the customer’s needs.

ATT finishes its letter to me by saying:

Don’t think twice about this one, Deborah. Call today [phone number] and get it all.

I don’t have to think about this at all. I know it is not an offer for me.

ATT, your marketing is a big, fat #FAIL.

Every day I see something in the communications world that either irks me, peeves me or just plain amazes me, and not in a good way.  There’s so much that I am making it a weekly rant on the blog.

This week’s communication fail has to do with sharing… social sharing that is…and how hard it can be to do.

The communications failure for February 17th: Sharing done wrong.

Here’s what I have encountered this week:

• No sharing buttons whatsoever on a blog or major news site. (In fact, I found no sharing buttons on a post about how to communicate effectively, I am not kidding.) This needs to stop. If you have a blog, you have to include the ability to share.
• Sharing buttons that share the name of the blog but not the name of the post. Why would I share something called say, Deb’s blog and a URL and expect people to read it? If it said something like “Why sharing buttons are crucial” on Deb’s blog, then yes.
• Sharing buttons that share the name of the post but not of the author. It’s about giving credit where credit is due. There are so many sharing buttons out there, it’s hard to find the right one.

If you are a blogger, do yourself a favor: check your sharing buttons right now.